Who Do You Think You Are? By Mike Howerton

Guest blog by Mike Howerton,Trusted Coach for CEOs and Leadership Teams | Father of 4 | Husband to Heidi | Christmas 🎄 Farmer | Christ is all

“Who do you think you are?” For most of my life these words haunted me. I heard them as an angry critique, not as a curious question. Not as an opportunity to explore who I am.

I heard them full of contempt, asked by someone in a position of power looking down on me. Looking at me with one eyebrow raised as I squirmed, unwilling to answer.

For nearly 40 years, I didn’t know who I was.

I had never really considered my identity. Maybe you haven’t either. Most of us don’t. We spend our lives doing:

Achieving the next goal.
Completing the next grade.
Applying for the next job.
Trying to make ends meet.
Fearfully doing whatever we’re told by the person we perceive is in power.

And here’s the problem: we spend most of our lives only aware of our general identity, not our specific identity.

General identity keeps us at the level of doing.

Athlete. Baseball player. Cyclist. 
Professional. Manager. Analyst.
Executive. C-suite. Strategist.
Laborer. Mason. Arborist.

These general identities keep us alive, keep us moving, keep us checking boxes. Grades are passed. Ends are met. Bills get paid. Promotions earned. Work done. But what if this is just surviving? What if thriving requires something deeper?

Here’s the thing about unique identity: it isn’t about what you do. It isn’t about titles, achievements, or the labels others put on you.

Unique identity is about being.

It’s who you are when everything else is stripped away. When the job changes. When the kids grow up. When the applause stops. It’s who you are when no one is looking.

And here’s the truth: God didn’t make you as a copy. He knit you together with a particular blend of gifts, passions, strengths, and even wounds. All of it is intentional. All of it can be redeemed.

That means your identity isn’t found in your résumé, your paycheck, or your reputation. Your identity is found in the One who made you.

So let me ask you again, not with contempt but with curiosity: Who do you think you are?

If you don’t know yet, that’s okay. Most of us don’t. But your life will change when you start paying attention.

Here’s a simple place to begin. Think back to a moment of pure joy. Maybe it was when you were a kid. Maybe it was last week. Don’t overanalyze it, just notice it. Those glimpses of joy are clues to your unique identity.

For me, my general identity is clear enough. I’m a sinner saved by grace, a co-heir with Christ, destined for eternity. Professionally, I’m an executive coach.

But my unique identity? A dear friend once helped me see it. I’m an interpreter of reality.

People who work closely with me often say I help them unscramble their thoughts and turn down the noise. They may walk into a conversation with a thousand ideas buzzing around, but by the time we’re done, the noise has quieted. Reality is clear. They can see the path forward and make great decisions.

That’s part of who I am and when I live from that place, I’m not just surviving. I’m thriving.

Once you discover who you really are, you stop living at the mercy of power, titles, and expectations. You start living with clarity, courage, and conviction. You move from surviving to thriving.

And the world desperately needs you thriving.